But every time a date of mine failed, I received that same line of reassurance I mentioned above over and over again. Was there any truth to it? Does one's absolute refusal to find love mean it will eventually find you? Because if this was applied to anything else — like a job — this approach would be regarded as disgraceful and lazy.
Is there any respect in that? Would mom, dad or grandma respect this decision? Of course they wouldn't. So why is this strategy encouraged in nothing else except seeking love?
To find an answer, I spoke with Deanna Cobden , a dating and relationship coach and an authority who insists that this common advice is usually the basis for what worked for the people giving the advice. When you're looking for love , it's all about energy, according to Cobden. Your energy impacts how you're living your life and, more specifically, how you're showing up for your dates.
I know this all sounds very elusive and vague at this point, but we're getting to the answer, I promise. In fact, being open to people you might not consider "your type" could lead to more success than not, especially if you have a history of choosing the wrong partners. Zarrabi warns against discounting someone if you don't feel an immediate spark—especially if that spark has led you down the wrong road in the past.
Sometimes the best match might be the one you least expect. From a young age, we're taught by movies, books, and the likes that love will find us—it will just fall out of the sky and we'll know when it's right. And as lovely as that sounds, it's not true for most of us. Finding love takes real work. Remind yourself that it's a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the more people you meet and get to know, and the more you push yourself out of your comfort zone, the more likely you are to find love.
By spicing up your routine and putting yourself in the dating world in new ways, this can help put the odds in your favor and enable you to find someone with whom you truly connect.
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We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. Stacey Laura Lloyd is an author with a passion for helping others find happiness and success in their dating lives as well as in their relationships. Just because the whole world seems to obsess about romance during one day in the middle of February, doesn't mean you have to. For happy singles, it's a good excuse to eat chocolate. But if Valentine's Day has you thinking about finding love, the holiday could be a good motivation to start.
Join social groups or meet-ups; be a worker bee in a cause you believe in; get involved in political parties. Bite the bullet and try online dating for a big pool of potential candidates, Schwartz added. Wherever you are, be present and look around the room to see who is looking at you.
These are the top states for 'positive relationships'. Tessina, a California psychotherapist also known as "Dr. Like yourself and like your life — really work on that, Schwartz advised.
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